The Osama Death Jokes Have Already Begun

The late-night comics didn’t even let Osama’s body get warm (oops, I mean cold) before having some fun. Good!
From Jay Leno:

• The good news: Osama bin Laden is dead. The bad news: there is no bad news.
• Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.

From David Letterman:

• Did everyone enjoy the Osama bin Laden season finale?
• There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.

From Craig Ferguson:

• Politicians on both sides are equally happy. Dick Cheney said he hasn’t been this happy since he saw the YouTube video of the girl throwing puppies into the river.
• Apparently, members of al-Qaida are online slamming the U.S. I don’t understand why they’re so upset. Everyone in al-Qaida just got a promotion.

From Jimmy Kimmel:

• I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week.
• After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
• I just want to point out that “buried at sea” means “dumped in the ocean.” This could be the best Shark Week ever.

From Jimmy Fallon:

• Oddly enough, bin Laden’s last words were, “I hope you at least use this to interrupt ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’”
• Microsoft is bringing back “Clippy,” the cartoon paper clip that used to pop up in Word documents. Apparently he’s been hiding in an upscale suburb of Pakistan.