EDM : Amnesia Resigns Paris Hilton for 2014 Residency (Really??)

It pains me to post this...

According to a recent report from TMZ, Paris Hilton has already been signed by Amnesia nightclub to a 2014 residency in Ibiza. Much to the dismay of the vast majority of the EDM community, the notorious socialite made big headlines this summer when her first “professional” DJ stint was announced, receiving strong criticism from ex-boyfriend Afrojack and the always-outspoken Deadmau5, to name a few.
The club’s owner, however, has said his initial concerns about the performer have since been alleviated by her ability to continuously bring fans in. From a business perspective, he may have a point – their aim is simply to keep the club full. However, it does raise some questions about those attending her show and what they’re really looking for, as there is better talent to be found at practically every other club on the island.
While it’s unclear how much compensation Hilton will be receiving for the next residency, the initial report claims she has stated it’s less about the money and more about proving herself among the major industry players. However, pair the pop-up shops set up at Amnesia events to hawk her handbags and accessories, with the fact that it doesn’t appear she’s planning to hone her “skills” with additional gigs in the meantime, and her motives appear to become a bit more clear.
Upon return to the states, the hotel heiress tweeted a link to the TMZ article, stating that she had “killed it in Ibiza”.   Unfortunately for us, it’s not her DJ career that she killed.

Credit : EDM Tunes

Paris Hilton to release house music album on Cash Money Records

The “multi-talented” Paris Hilton has just announced that she will be releasing a full album of house music tracks via Cash Money Records sometime this summer! Could this album outshine Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories? Only time will tell.
The heiress, who is best known for her superb acting chops (and creepy night vision eyes), reportedly broke the news to Showbiz411 at a party in Cannes. According to the gossip blog, it is likely that Hilton will be signing on with Cash Money subsidiary Young Money Entertainment to release her latest musical trainwreck.  She also claims that Afrojack has been helping her produce the album – a rumor that has been floating around the blogosphere since she made her more-than-stellar DJ debut.
Dancing Astronaut’s suggestion for enjoying Paris’s latest publicity stunt? Grab some popcorn and puncture your eardrums.

Dancing Astronaut

Afrojack: Paris’ DJ career ‘was a complete surprise to me’

By now you’ve inevitably seen the video of Paris Hilton “DJing” in Brazil, but what you haven’t seen is Afrojack’s official reaction. Well, we’ve received an exclusive statement from the Dutch mega DJ meant to set the record straight. He writes that he worked on some tracks with Paris “a while ago, but her trying to become a DJ was a complete surprise to me.”

It is simply not possible to become a good DJ unless you put lots of hard work and years of sweat in it.

In reaction to the footage online, he remarks that “this proves once and for all that edm (or dance music as I call it) is all about skills and quality.” He is afraid that Paris “underestimated” the hard work, time, and energy needed to become a good DJ, and asks everyone to “continue with what we’re doing, loving our culture and sharing our passion for the music.” Damn straight.
Full, unedited statement straight from Mr. Van de Wall after the break.

As everybody knows, I have been working on some tracks with Paris a while ago, but her trying to become a DJ was a complete surprise to me. Then I saw the video and I think this proves once and for all that edm (or dance music as I call it) is all about skills and quality. It is simply not possible to become a good DJ unless you put lots of hard work and years of sweat in it. I’m afraid Paris underestimated this.
But I think this whole thing is really not important. Lets all do a giant facepalm flashmob and continue with what we were doing, loving our culture and sharing our passion for the music.

Credit ; Dancing Astronaut

EDM News : Paris Hilton's DJ Debut Sucked Balls: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

 

And the award for shittiest, most tragic DJ in the entire universe goes to ... The slut in the awkward construction paper dress! Oh, we mean Paris Hilton, obviously.

Remember when Crossfade told you that Paris was bound to ruin everything with her DJ premiere at the Pop Music Festival in Brazil? Well, it happened over the weekend.

We wish that we could say Hilton did it for the LOLs, but she probably doesn't get the joke.



0:00 - 0:25
Hilton literally touches nothing. Yet the music manages to speed up awkwardly and sound like poop. She sways from side to side like a drunken bobble figure. Waving a Brazilian flag doesn't save you from offending the whole country.

0:26 - 1:18
Paris plays with the flanger and makes a face like she's at a photoshoot. She puts her hands in the air, clearly because she does not care. The track continues to sound like it's trying to kill itself, and we don't blame Gotye. She pretends to know how to use all this equipment and stuff.

0:19 - 2:59
She takes to the mic, calling out to the crowd in a voice like that of a prepubescent child on downers. She actually touches nothing, and the song changes into another played-out hit from hell. The video skips into more embarrassing vocals and awkward dance moves.

But wait! There's more! 

 

 

0:00 - 0:30
Paris debuts her own original ... Er, Afrojack's original that she sings on. Someone in the crowd mocks her nasal idiot speak. She drops the worst trainwreck in history, smashing Calvin Harris's "We Found Love" with her own puke-inducing sing-along. She takes off her headphones because not even she thinks it sounds good.

0:31 - 1:53
Stage directors blow smoke into the crowd as Paris blows smoke up her own ass. Someone has to come and help her DJ because she's too busy waving her glittery microphone in the air to actually do her job. You know, DJ-ing.

1:54 - 3:03
Nothing can save her now. She continues to be DJPlayTheHits.com, literally dropping the same effing Calvin Harris tune as before. The video finally fades to black, and we cry ourselves to sleep. Because after seeing Paris Hilton try to DJ, it's just not worth living in this world. 

 

Credit : Crossfade