Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sex : Viagra-Infused Condoms Are Nearly a Reality



You just read that headline correctly. Reports suggest that a new type of condom, which has been infused with a "Viagra-like" enhancement gel, is going to be put on sale by the end of the year. Durex -- the maker of this nugget catcher -- will roll-out the condom in Europe first, and then eventually it will make its way Stateside. Smart move, Durex. Let them be the lab rats on your little passion project. If this thing malfunctions and dicks start going ka-boom, you certainly don't want America's negative press.

This new condom's mission is not to cure erectile dysfunction (sorry dead dicks), but to make men more responsible/hard and keep us from doing what we usually do: Get pissed off, look the chick in the eye with frustration, say something like "I can't feel anything, I gotta take this off," zing the scumbag across the room, look her in the eye again, this time swearing that you're the Michael Jordan of pulling-out, and forge ahead by the grace of God.

We all know that condoms are great for blocking you from STDs and offspring, but they are, if nothing else, boner death. So this crafty little invention has to be welcome with semi-open arms. It's like safe sex's way of saying, "We've tried, and since nothing we ever do (or invent) can allow you to feel anything close to pleasure, we're settling to just keep you violently erect. "

This may not be the solution to a bigger problem (condoms will still suck) but it has to be seen as a step in the right direction... for Durex anyway. I mean, their market share is dog shit but with this thing promising to keep your dick stiffer than a dead cat, are you honestly going to ask questions?

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