Sex : Viagra-Infused Condoms Are Nearly a Reality

You just read that headline correctly. Reports suggest that a new type of condom, which has been infused with a "Viagra-like" enhancement gel, is going to be put on sale by the end of the year. Durex -- the maker of this nugget catcher -- will roll-out the condom in Europe first, and then eventually it will make its way Stateside. Smart move, Durex. Let them be the lab rats on your little passion project. If this thing malfunctions and dicks start going ka-boom, you certainly don't want America's negative press.

This new condom's mission is not to cure erectile dysfunction (sorry dead dicks), but to make men more responsible/hard and keep us from doing what we usually do: Get pissed off, look the chick in the eye with frustration, say something like "I can't feel anything, I gotta take this off," zing the scumbag across the room, look her in the eye again, this time swearing that you're the Michael Jordan of pulling-out, and forge ahead by the grace of God.

We all know that condoms are great for blocking you from STDs and offspring, but they are, if nothing else, boner death. So this crafty little invention has to be welcome with semi-open arms. It's like safe sex's way of saying, "We've tried, and since nothing we ever do (or invent) can allow you to feel anything close to pleasure, we're settling to just keep you violently erect. "

This may not be the solution to a bigger problem (condoms will still suck) but it has to be seen as a step in the right direction... for Durex anyway. I mean, their market share is dog shit but with this thing promising to keep your dick stiffer than a dead cat, are you honestly going to ask questions?

Tips : Creating Sexual Chemistry

• Better Man in brief ...
• In order to spark sexual chemistry, you don't need to brag.
• Make sure you listen and respond to what she has to say.
• Be a gentleman -- women still love men who are polite and open doors.

While it’s common knowledge that women tend to gravitate toward money and power, many eligible bachelors don’t boast either. But the true Player recognizes that the key to fireworks lies in sexual chemistry, that powerful and deciding factor surrounded by an aura of mystery. As a responsible member of the Player community, it’s your job to cultivate those subtle sparks and fan them to a roaring flame in record time.

But not every curvaceous target will sense these sparks, so you might have to get a little creative. Your past conquests probably give you security and confidence, but even the best can’t guarantee chemistry every time. Let’s say you want to score with that smokin’ bartender who always tops off your drink for free, but she isn’t responding with the requisite level of interest. It’s time to roll up your sleeves and create sexual tension, even if chemistry isn’t immediately evident.

Sexual chemistry defined

Let’s initially adopt the scientific definition of sexual chemistry, which is “a natural, mutual romantic attraction between two people that results from a mixture of physical attraction and natural, mutual personality-based rapport.” Of course, that’s kind of wordy, so we'll break it down to something more accessible: You need to adapt to her personality and make a few moves that point toward physical attraction -- even if she’s not “feeling it.”

You probably want to close the deal quickly, so let's focus on doing so in a single night. The following are some hints and tips to make that bartender switch gears from neutral to overdrive.

Establishing common ground

Having something in common is essential to any level of sexual chemistry. If you click on emotional or intellectual grounds, that is a welcoming start -- you'll have something to discuss. Work on having multiple levels of commonality. The more common ground, the more you’ll connect with her and stay in her thoughts. Finding the common ground will require you to listen and pay attention to her in conversation. Establish areas where you both agree without becoming a “yes man.” Agreeing with her and even speaking out on some of the points on which you differ will intrigue her. Constant agreeing will make her think you're boring. Being headstrong will wake up the chemistry.

Show her that you understand women

Trying to show her that you feel and think as a woman feels and thinks is a waste of time. She knows you have no footing in the world of women. But show her that you understand what women want with good manners -- opening doors, being your best and excelling at communicating and listening. Showing a woman you have style and showing her you know how to be a fool will remind her that she is with a man, and her smoldering interest (and yours) will grow.

Show her that you understand her

She’s been talking, and you have been listening -- or at least you should have been. She has been supplying information about herself during your conversation. Ask questions about her responses. Agree with her points (only when you do, resist faking your opinion). In allowing the conversation to be about her, you tell her that you understand her. While proving that you understand women is going to appeal to her, displaying that you "get" her will set her afire. She will wonder about who you are, what you’re about and why you understand her when so many others do not.

Be mysterious

If she knows too much about you, setting up sexual chemistry will be difficult. The draw of desire is wanting what we have not had before. If you are an open book, she’ll find little interest in you.  But you shouldn't be unnecessarily stoic or use one-word sentences. Guard against being gabby and commenting on every thing and every person nearby. Talk little and listen a lot. By the date’s end, she will realize how little she knows about you, and then the chemistry begins. Be coy in your approach. Men find an easy lay appealing. Women find it obvious and a turn-off. Being overly eager will show through and will let her know that you’re lonely and impatient to satisfy yourself with her. Elevator eyes, obvious staring and body stance can all scream anything but coy. Watch these signals and make sure to keep the conversation away from anything sexual. She will throw out the bait to see if you’re like the other men in the room, and when you don't take the lure, her interest will rise.

Be positive

Few things kill sexual chemistry, desire and attraction like negativity. Being angry at the bartender or complaining about something that happened earlier will sap the excitement and potential energy she could build for you. This growing energy is sexual chemistry, and as it peaks, it piques her interest in you. Politeness mixed with a bit of mystery will put her in the position of wondering who you are. But if she must endure your bad attitude, it will quickly turn her off, and you’ll be alone with your sexual chemistry.

15 Benefits Of Great Sex

 

Sex is great. Obviously. But it also benefits your health in countless ways. Well, in seven major ways according to sexuality counselor, Ian Kerner. Studies show that a sexed up woman is younger looking, happier, and thinner, and has a good ticker, a longer life span, and a better immune system. Sign me up for this regular sex thing! Aside from these fabulous perks, there are countless others that keep us motivated to get busy. As if we needed more motivation. Some more benefits of the sex-making after the jump.

1. Eating pizza in bed without feeling guilty.
2. You get to spend more time with your beloved waxing lady.
3. A solid excuse to buy new sheets.
4. Something to daydream about during boring meetings at work.
5. The racket coming from your apartment annoys the neighbor you already hate.
6. A valid reason to leave that annoying social function early.
7. Finally putting your sexy underwear and yoga skills to good use.
8. Nights without zit cream are happy nights.
9. The reason you were looking for to skip your spinning classes.
10. Motivation to keep your apartment spotless.
11. A respite from online Scrabble and marathon Angry Birds sessions.
12. A perfectly acceptable reason to spend all day in bed on Sunday without feeling like a lazy ass.
13. Weekly pedicures no longer seem frivolous.
14. The condoms that have been sitting in the drawer of your bedside table for way too long will finally be put to good use.
15. A much needed night off from your grueling schedule of reality TV watching.

Health : 9 Rules for Stronger Erections

No penis is an island. Or so J. Stephen Jones, M.D., F.A.C.S., a urologist with the Cleveland Clinic, likes to tell his patients. If your penis were an island, it would be tempting to think of it as a hot spot in the Caribbean—calm and tranquil during the day, throbbing with activity at night, and the destination of a constant rotation of half-naked coeds.

As much as that sounds like paradise, Dr. Jones says a more precise urological/geographical parallel would be your penis as peninsula—a bodily extension that shares a supply of blood, oxygen, and nutrients with all your other organs. Unfortunately, that means if a natural disaster strikes the mainland, it's likely to affect any protruding landmasses, too.

"ED stands not only for erectile dysfunction but also for 'early diagnosis,' because you can use ED to predict a heart attack, potentially by years—arterial damage from cardiovascular disease affects the small arteries in the penis first," says Christopher Steidle, M.D., a clinical associate professor of urology at the Indiana University medical center at Fort Wayne. That's one reason it's a mistake to let Levitra, Viagra, and Cialis lull you into an I'll-fix-it-when-it-breaks mindset.

Here's another: Take steps to safeguard your sex life now and you may never need to pop the little blue pill. Or any other shade of erection aid. In other words, follow our advice and every woman who visits your peninsula will leave with a smile.

Eat Blackberry Jam on Your Toast

Dark fruits like blackberries, bilberries, and elderberries contain high levels of anthocyanins, ultrapowerful antioxidants that could act as erection insurance.

Quick science lesson: Your penis's ability to rise and shine depends, in part, on the availability of nitric oxide, a blood-vessel-dilating chemical. When too many free radicals are present in your bloodstream, nitric oxide goes down-and so does your penis. Enter anthocyanins. These potent antioxidants attack free radicals before they have the chance to lower nitric oxide levels.

Here's proof of their power: Indiana University researchers found that arteries treated with anthocyanins retained high levels of nitric oxide even after being flooded with free radicals. "Antioxidants help keep free radicals under control so nitric oxide can do its thing," says David Bell, Ph.D., the lead study author. And that "thing" is giving your penis the blood it needs to turn excitement into an erection.

Shut Down the Smokestack

If you still light up, you've probably accepted your increased risk of heart disease, stroke, lung cancer, and bladder cancer. But how about dying young and impotent? A study published in the Journal of Urology found that smoking causes arterial damage that doubles a man's risk of total erectile dysfunction. The good news: "If men quit in their 50s or earlier, we can usually reverse the damage," says Andre Guay, M.D., director of the Lahey Clinic for Sexual Function, in Massachusetts.

When Dr. Guay measured nighttime erections in 10 impotent smokers (average age 49), he noted a 40 percent improvement after just 1 smoke-free day. Swap the cancer sticks for fish sticks: Researchers at the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland discovered that taurine, an amino acid found in fish, helps heal smoke-damaged arteries.

Become a More Sensitive Guy

Everyone knows stress is a psychological cold shower. But untamed tension also works in a more insidious way—by releasing epinephrine, a type of adrenaline that goes straight to your arteries and slowly wreaks havoc there. "Stress in the long term can contribute to hardening of the arteries," says Dr. Jones, who is author of Overcoming Impotence: A Leading Urologist Tells You Everything You Need to Know.

In a great medical irony, being hard in the arteries can leave you soft in the shorts. The fix: Force yourself to concentrate on each of your five senses for a few minutes every day—the feel of the steering wheel in your hands, the sound of the engine revving to redline, the sight of the hot brunette in the next car . . .

"Obsessing on stressful thoughts will increase your epinephrine," says Jay Winner, M.D., author of Stress Management Made Simple. "On the other hand, if you focus on current sensations, it decreases the epinephrine and ultimately improves your ability to have an erection."

Stop Sawing Wood

Snoring can sabotage a night of sex, and not just because it's difficult to engage in foreplay from the couch. "All of your tissue needs oxygen to be healthy, and the penile tissue is especially sensitive," says Dr. Jones. "When you snore, you're depriving your tissue of that oxygen."

That said, don't waste your money on OTC snore stoppers; research by the U.S. Air Force shows that these products aren't effective. Instead, try placing bricks under the bedposts at the head of the bed. "Snoring has a lot to do with gravity," says Phillip Westerbrook, M.D., founder of the sleep-disorders center at the Mayo Clinic. "If you elevate the torso without bending the neck, it changes the effect of gravity on the soft tissues of the throat."

Eat a Dark-Chocolate Dove Bar

It's erection medicine. Dark chocolate contains epicatechins, flavonoids that trigger the release of dilating chemicals in the inner, or endothelial, layer of the arteries. How much should you munch? A University of California at San Francisco study shows that those who ate a 1.6-ounce dark-chocolate bar each day increased their blood-vessel dilation by more than 10 percent.

While the study wasn't done specifically on erectile tissues, anything that benefits your body's endothelial system will likely benefit your erections, since the penis is made up largely of endothelial surfaces. "Keeping those surfaces healthy is crucial to good arterial flow," says Kevin McVary, M.D., a professor of urology at Northwestern University. Look for dark chocolate that bears the CocoaPro logo on the label—this symbol is a visible sign that the candy bar you're buying is chock-full of flavonoids.

Lower Your Estrogen

Calculate your body-mass index. If your BMI comes in close to or over 25, you may be carrying just enough lard to drag down your erections. "We know that heavier men convert testosterone to estrogen, and that a lower level of testosterone and a higher level of estrogen are not good for erectile function," says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., a Men's Health advisor and chief of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Baylor college of medicine.

Fortunately, even moderate weight loss can rid you of excess estrogen and put your sex life back on track. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that one-third of clinically obese men—BMI 30 or higher—with erectile dysfunction showed improvement after losing 10 percent of their body weight.

Get Pricked

If you think the problem is that you, well, think too much, see an acupuncturist. The results of a study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research suggest that acupuncture can help treat psychologically induced erectile dysfunction. (Relax—the prick points are all in your back.)

"In psychogenic erectile dysfunction, the patient has trouble with the balance of his sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems," says Paul Engelhardt, M.D., the study author. "Traditional Chinese medicine tries to restore that balance." Sure, it sounds like using feng shui for your underwear drawer, but it works—64 percent of the men who underwent 6 weeks of acupuncture regained sexual function and needed no further treatment.

Build a Stronger Floor

Go figure—one of the best ways to treat erectile dysfunction is to pretend that you suffer from premature ejaculation. British researchers discovered that the traditional treatment for a hair trigger—strengthening the pelvic-floor muscles—is also a remedy for men who can't point their pistols. In the study of 55 impotent men, 40 percent of those who practiced pelvic-floor exercises, a.k.a. Kegels, every day for 6 months regained normal sexual function.

Apparently, the same muscle contraction that's used to stop peeing midstream can also prevent blood from escaping during an erection. "Unless they have severe back pain, all men with ED can perform pelvic-floor exercises," says Grace Dorey, Ph.D., the study author. Here's the workout plan: Contract and relax your pelvic muscles anytime you're sitting, although you can also do them lying down. Work up to doing 18 contractions daily, holding each one for 10 seconds.

Open Your Medicine Cabinet

And make a list of all the prescription pills you're popping. "A lot of prescription drugs may be associated with sexual dysfunction," says R. Taylor Segraves, M.D., Ph.D., coauthor of Sexual Pharmacology. One possible culprit is the cholesterol-lowering drug simvastatin, brand name Zocor. For a full list of erection offenders, visit MensHealth.com/drug. If you're taking one of them, talk to your doctor. Often a similar pill, sans side effects, is on the market.

Still Not Able to Defy Gravity?

At this point, it makes sense to consider taking Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra to stimulate bloodflow to the penis, says Dr. Steidle. And who knows what miracles might happen once you prime the pump a few times? "What a lot of men find is that once they restart these medications, they may not need them for every episode of sexual activity—they may need them only now and then," he says.

Similarly, if you suffer from performance anxiety, a drug-fueled romp or two may be just what the urologist ordered to restore confidence. And while all three erection medications have the power to prevent you from psyching yourself out in the sack, Cialis's ability to work for up to 36 hours may provide an advantage, says Julian Slowinski, Psy.D., an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania school of medicine. "This gives a man and his partner a lot of time over the weekend to be more spontaneous."

How To Boost Your Sex Appeal

There’s a mysterious je ne sais quoi that certain people possess. It’s a hidden attribute that isn’t quantifiable in a traditional sense, but people gauge and talk about it constantly anyway — sex appeal. It makes the world go round. Advertisers spend millions of dollars centering ad campaigns around it, stylists try to capture it aesthetically. And a lot of people lament the fact that they have no sex appeal.

But that’s changeable. Entirely. And more people are realizing it. Here are some tips to help you bring your sexy back.

Realize That It’s Not A Fixed Attribute

A lot of people sit in their basements, firing off angry screeds in their diaries about how nobody finds them sexy. You can learn sexy. But there’s no dojo that’ll coach you in the ways of the sexy leg sweep and it might take months or years of retraining yourself and breaking down walls of social programming to get there — but even the people who view themselves as the most hopeless cases need to realize you’re never hopeless; provided you’re willing to learn and change.

Dedicating more of your time to self-improvement, physically and mentally, is the only way to improve. And thankfully this isn’t an area that your entire life needs to be dedicated towards, like your job. Often times even the smallest effort, such as getting a new dress sense, can make the biggest changes.

Start Taking Better Care of Yourself

Where a lot of people advocate the old maxim that it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can still be sexy – it doesn’t hurt. Joining a gym and gaining 15 pounds of lean muscle won’t ever hurt your chances of being thought of as a sex object by the opposite sex. There are no posters being sold of sedentary men with donuts, unless it’s Homer Simpson, but there are ones sold of athletes and attractive public figures. In addition, monitoring what you eat and exercising will have a positive impact on increasing your longevity in other areas, such as your abilities in the sack. There’s no downside to taking care of yourself – other than the fact that it may change your routine slightly. We could all use a little change.

Be Unpredictable

Teasing, breaking rapport, making jokes and the like signifies one important aspect of self – that you have a solid foundation of comfort that you’ve built off of and you don’t really need or want other people’s approval. In addition, in certain social situations, breaking rapport will introduce an element of attraction that wasn’t there prior – because you’re now actively piquing their interest and becoming a challenge. Be confident and socially intelligent to come off as unpredictable, but not destructive. Women and people in general like the element of perceived danger that comes with being unpredictable — they don’t necessarily like destructive behavior.

Have More Women In Your Life

Here’s a shocker — a lot of people who are described as sexy actually aren’t. They run in social circles and maintain lifestyles that are sexy. You wonder why billionaires are able to hang out with Victoria’s Secret models? Chances are they already know a few based off their social status. Corporations, record companies and Hollywood know about preselection – if you have some women chase you, you’re going to have other women chasing you. So have women in your life. Go out with friends who are girls and they will introduce you to more women… Who will realize you know other women. It’s a win-win cycle.

Get More Informed About Sex

If you’re a person who’s not having a lot of sex, it may be difficult to learn more about it. It’s an elusive subject. But one thing you can do is read about different sexual techniques, erogenous zones in the human body and what people generally like. People who are knowledgeable in a subject feel comfortable when they’re in a situation relating to that subject. You don’t need to be an expert in the tantric sex – but familiarize yourself with the basics. So when you do get a girl alone, you won’t put a paper bag over your head and start hyperventilating. You’ll be prepared.

8 Ways To Close The Door On A Failed Relationship

Whether it's writing a letter, painting a picture or moving cross-country, here's how to let go.

If anyone ever figured out how to bottle the ability to achieve closure after a relationship ends, they would be rich and famous. As someone who has stumbled in finding closure a few times in my life, all I can say for sure is how it feels. It feels peaceful; it feels freeing, like taking a rock out of your shoe. It is the moment a chapter in the book of your life has been written, read, reread, and filed away for posterity. No matter what the situation, closure is a feeling that comes from within. Sometimes you have the other person there to debrief with and that can be helpful, like when I met up with an ex-boyfriend to compare notes on our relationship. It was an incredibly therapeutic experience that helped me close the door on the relationship once and for all. But let's be honest, it hardly ever happens like that...

Most of the time, we are struggling alone. Whether it's because the other person(s) is dead, unavailable, toxic, crazy, or just an ass who we've decided doesn't deserve to be in our life anymore, it's not always possible to involve them in the closure process. So if we can't have their input/thoughts/feelings/apologies, but we still need closure, how to proceed? Here are some tips for getting closure when you have to go at it alone. Share your suggestions in the comments.

1. The un-sent letter. I dated a guy who suddenly stopped talking to me without any rhyme, reason, or warning. I later realized this was because he was an addict, but at the time, it was devastating. I knew I could and never would speak to him again. But I still had so much pain and anger pent up inside. I sat down at my desk and proceeded to write an epic letter telling him exactly what I thought of him. I wrote until there were no more words. Then I folded that sucker up, put it in an envelope, and locked it away in a drawer. It helped me let go just a little bit.

2. Write it. Write a book about the demise of your relationship, sell it for a six-figure advance, and then have it turned into a show on HBO starring someone exceedingly attractive. But seriously, even if you're not a professional writer, write it anyway. A play, screenplay, short story, or poem can help you gain perspective on a situation, or even give you an opportunity to write a different ending. It's OK if you're the only one who ever reads it. It's worth it.

3. Weird-ass rituals. As a person who considers myself "spiritually eclectic" (I'll explain some other time), I love performing weird-ass rituals that mean something only to me. I highly recommend printing out all the emails that the person ever sent you, lighting them on fire, and burying the ashes under your favorite tree. Or make up your own random ritual that is simpatico with your religious or spiritual beliefs. The point is to try to lay the past to rest.

4. Art. Art! Art! Art! Paint it, collage it, photograph it. Make art about it. I have an entire sketchbook of awful collages and watercolor paintings that got me through college. No one will EVER see them, but I don't care. If you are gifted in this way, I'm jealous!
5. Reflection. Ruminate on both the good and the bad of the relationship, so that you don't: A) totally idealize it or B) reactively hate the person. The more clarity you have on a situation, the easier it will be to sort out your feelings and gain insight about the situation. This may even be helpful to do with a counselor or therapist or a good friend. If you're a list person, a good old-fashioned pro-and-con should do the trick. Every time I break up with a dude or a friend, I write a list of all of the things I didn't like about them and all of the things I learned about myself. Then I can refer to it in the future if need be.

6. Reclaiming. Take the memories back! That Italian restaurant you both loved, your favorite dive bar or music venue, the bench you sat on to watch the sunset—do all the things you loved doing together on your own. Make new memories dammit ... alone!

7. Change of scenery. Sometimes the best way to get a fresh perspective on a life situation is to get away for a while. Go on a retreat/vacation, move to a new neighborhood, or just redecorate. Get out of your bubble. When your environment changes so does your state of mind. New states of mind are conducive to change.

8. Forgiveness. This is so easy to say and so hard to do. Closure requires forgiveness either of yourself or others. Forgiveness takes time. And time is really the only way to heal from a major loss in your life. Unfortunately, time is something we have no control over. Yeah, that kind of sucks, but be patient with and kind to yourself. You never know when forgiveness will happen or exactly how long it will take, but sometimes you just wake up one day and that stupid rock has miraculously fallen out of your shoe. You may not know why or how, but it did. That is the moment that you’re ready to walk on. Only more comfortably.

33 Simple Sex Tips To Turn Her On

Buy Her a Silk Thong

A gift of lingerie is cliched, right? So twist it. Give it to her when you (seemingly) don't expect sex right then and there. Pass it under the table at a restaurant and ask her to go to the ladies' room and change into it. "It's a little naughty, but she has a chance to play back," says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., a relationship therapist in Seattle. Not recommended for a first date.

Embrace Her Until She Ends It

Good kissing tops most women's lists of turn-ons, but don't underestimate the heating power of a great hug, especially when she initiates it. "Let her know how much you savor it," says Lou Paget, author of 365 Days of Sensational Sex. Make it clear you don't want the hug to end.

Wear Her Name

Women love to hear men use their names. The more unexpected the place—like in the middle of a sentence—the better. Better still, write her name on your shoulder, your hand, or anyplace she'll have a chance of spotting it. It's a tattoo without pain—one that gives only pleasure. "It will make her laugh and think you're so adorable," says Davidson. "It says, 'You matter.' "

Whisper into Her Ear

In public, at a party, tell her what you want to do to her later: "Tonight, I'm going to make you have as many orgasms as possible." For women, anticipating it can be as exciting as the actual event.

Skip the Flowers

Blooms at the office are overdone. If you want to stand out, send a card instead. "It's really the thoughtful things you do at nonsexual times that make a woman want you," says Paul Joannides, author of Guide to Getting It On! Go with a thank-you. Write out a few things you've never thanked her for—making breakfast on Sunday, cleaning your stubble out of the sink. An appreciated woman during the day is an appreciative woman at night.

Plant a Picture

Stash a photo of her in your wallet. She'll deny it, but all women rummage at some point. You might as well turn it to your advantage.

Say Why

Anyone can say, "I love you," so explain why. Maybe it's the way she nibbles at a KitKat, or how her nose scrunches when she drinks tequila. The more unique your reasons, the more special she'll feel.

Get Your Story Straight

For a happy ending (tonight and every night), remember the beginning: the details of your first meeting—where you were, what she was wearing, what you said, and how you felt. Recount them. Often.

Make Yourself Sick

Leave love notes around the house—in the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, under her pillow. That much sweetness might make you nauseous, but it'll make her feel like a lovesick teenager.

Apply Her Lipstick

"Grooming a woman is kind of a role reversal," says Linda De Villers, Ph.D., a California sex therapist and author of Love Skills: A Fun, Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships. "She's being doted on and served, and it shows that you think a certain part of her body is attractive." Other ideas: Shave her legs, paint her toenails, or brush or wash her hair. According to a menshealth.com poll of 3,200 men, 76 percent said they have shampooed their woman's hair.

Kiss and Lick Her Hinges

You've got the obvious kiss spots covered. Now concentrate your efforts elsewhere—on her elbows, knees, shoulders, ankles, neck, and hip joints. "They're rarely attended to with long caresses," says Davidson. "It's a super sensation." See if you can make her come unhinged.

Bear Fruit

Chocolate syrup and whipped cream get all the kinky play in movies. Instead, turn her body into a juicer. "The best foods for sex are fruits that you can rub onto the body, such as soft mango or papaya," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D., a sex therapist in California and author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love. "Then devour both her and the fruit." Get sticky, shower, repeat. If you're Mickey Rourke, skip the shower.

And Berries

Forget coffee and toast—bring hot chocolate (a sexual stimulant for her) and raspberries and strawberries to bed. The berries replenish the zinc you lose when you ejaculate—5 milligrams, or a third of your daily requirement.

Try the No-Move Move

When you start foreplay, tell her you're not going to move on to another action until she tells you what to do next. This works physically and mentally: It's a way to encourage her to open up and direct you to what she really wants. Now, your turn.

Give Her a Massage

But make it interesting:

• In hot weather, roll a chilled can of soda along the backs of her thighs.
  
• In cool weather, warm a towel in the microwave for 10 seconds and massage her with it.
  
• Season her belly with a little salt, and then slowly lick it off. Add tequila to taste.
  
• Turn winter gloves inside out, put them on, and massage her with the soft side.

Give Her Chills

"Cold is sensed by more nerve endings than mere touch can reach, so you're expanding her range of response," says Phillip Hodson, a British sex therapist. Do this: Chill a bunch of grapes for at least 20 minutes. Then trail a small sprig of them along her neck, nipples, and inner thighs. Nibble away. Now put a grape in your mouth and gently press it against her clitoris by holding it in your teeth or between your lips.

Come Clean

Here's a master class in the notoriously tricky art of bath sex. Start by slinging in a generous quantity of bath gel, advises Anne Hooper, a sex therapist and author of Ultimate Sex Guide. Fill the tub with 5 inches of hot water, then pour more foaming bath gel onto your bellies, chests, and legs. Have her lie on top of you and use her body as a scrub brush. To add to the fun, throw in a set of Rub-a-Dub Dice—floating foam cubes that, when "rolled," reveal sexy commands like "sponge belly" or "kiss back"—or a Rubba Ducky, a vibrating bath massager you'll both enjoy. Both are available at mypleasure.com.

Rub Her Down

For extra shower power, pour a couple of drops of shower gel into a spray bottle and mix it with water. Spray her, then rub. She'll feel three different types of stimulation—the steady pelting of the shower, the soft spray of the soapy gel, and the firm caresses of your hands. That's the kind of threesome that turns her on.

Make a Bedroom Burrito

Bondage is appealing for a good reason: It heightens the anticipation for the one who's receiving the pleasure. But anything with locks, Velcro, or ties can freak her out (us, too), so try this: While you're rolling around in bed, wrap her up in the sheet so she can't do anything with her arms (think burrito or straitjacket). Leave her head, shoulders, and lower legs uncovered. Now kiss every inch of exposed skin. It's simple, spontaneous, and soft-core.

Blindfold Yourself

Many women who are insecure about their bodies stick to the missionary position because you can't see their bodies that way. If you really can't see her because your eyes are covered, she'll do a lot more with you, to you, and for you.

Ask Permission

Before you enter her, ask if it's okay. "Some women find it incredibly endearing," says Barnaby Barratt, Ph.D., president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. "It gives them a sense of respect. It gives them the security to become more sexually relaxed." And when you're first entering her, kiss her lips or caress her face. "Give her stimulation in addition to penetration," De Villers says.

Practice Reentry

After you first enter her, do it again—slowly. Repeat it over and over. "One of the huge turn-ons is anticipation," De Villers says. "Don't pull out all the way, but when you pull almost all the way out, she gets the anticipation of the stroke that comes back in."

Do It in Public

Or just pretend. Exhibitionism is a secret thrill for many women, but the threat of arrest deters them. So have sex standing up, with her near the bedroom window. It's easy to duck out of the way. If she's semiclothed, your neighbors will be none the wiser.

Blow Bubbles

Take a swig of champagne before going down, then use your tongue to swirl the bubbles around her clitoris. Nerve endings react to bubbles. In a very good way.

Use the Cottons Cycle

"The washing machine is the biggest vibrator in the house," says Hodson. Sit on it and have her sit on top of you—the vibrations carry through your penis. Cottons get the longest, fastest spin.

Go into the Closet

Novelty is an aphrodisiac. Any unusual setting, with strange sensations, smells, and muffled sounds, will make sex feel new. Confined spaces add urgency. "They're great for a quickie," says sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston. Watch that shoe tree!

Work the Angle

Liberator Shapes velvet cushions create an "orgasm-optimum" 26-degree pelvic tilt, which means maximum contact between your body and her clitoris, and minimum demands for foreplay. Feel free to adjust the angle slightly—there's evidence that 27 degrees works as well.

Or Call a Squeeze Play

With her facedown and you on top, have her cross her legs, and position yours outside of hers. Her vagina will feel tighter, and the added friction means more pleasure.

Get Bigger

When you're on top, place her legs over your shoulders. This shortens her vaginal canal, so your penis feels bigger inside her.

Stand by Your Woman

For better from-behind sex, have her kneel on the edge of the bed with her upper chest touching the mattress. This elongates the vaginal barrel, making it feel tighter. You get a fantastic view, and she'll enjoy the nipple stimulation from rubbing the mattress.

Make It Easy

For oral sex, stand while your partner kneels or sits on the bed. This angle lets her take more of you, gives her better control, and is less tiring.

Let Her Give You a Pearl Necklace

But not a real one. Lightly lubricate the pearls and your penis. Have your partner wrap the pearls around the shaft and slowly stroke up and down with a gentle rotation. The beads feel warm and smooth, creating a new level of sensation.

Direct a Fan at Her

Then pour peppermint schnapps into her belly button, dip your fingers and tongue, and trace her body.

50 best SEX Tips

Sex isn't a Race
Sex isn't a race, so take time to explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress.

Give Her Plenty of Time
If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A woman won't want sex if she's hurried, and she'll probably need about 20 minutes to reach orgasm.

Grunts are Better Than Nothing
She'll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence.

Vary the Stimulation
When you're all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation.

Make a Fantasy Lottery
Both you and your lady write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles—"yes," "maybe someday," and "not on your life." Put the possibles in a shoe box, and once a month pull out a winner.

Mimic Her Style
Ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during oral, then cop her style next time you're south of the border.

Exercise Together
Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

Ignore Bombshells
Remain calm when a decked-out bombshell strolls by and you'll be sending the message that you're too smart to be wowed by a Wonderbra and red lipstick.

Give Her the Perfect Compliment
The best compliments are the ones that involve multiple senses. "You have beautiful breasts" is nice. "You have beautiful breasts—they feel so soft and warm in my hands" is that much more intimate.

Don't Give in to Temptation
If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed her own ego, not yours. She wants to see how much power she holds over you. And if you take her bait, she then knows she must be superior in every way to your sweetie. Deep down, she has nothing but contempt for both your male weakness and your mate's existence. That should really piss you off.

Find Her G-Spot
Use your thumb to press on her G-spot, as if you were making a thumbprint on her vaginal wall. You're shooting for the area about 2 inches inside the vaginal opening, on the front side.

Use Your Tongue Wisely
When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure.

Doggy-Style the Right Way
Doggy-style tip: For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast.

Tell Her What She Wants to Hear
Words she loves to hear: "I want to make you feel good."

Hang Out with Your Married Pals
Looking for The One? Don't abandon your spoken-for friends. A guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend has an expanded social circle—meaning he knows more women (that he could potentially introduce you to) than he did when he was single.

Keep Contact Indirect
The nerve-packed clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina (like a wishbone), which means you can massage it without direct pressure to the bud. Trace the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes or slow finger zigzags. (Don't forget lube.) Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass. The combo of anticipation and indirect contact will bring her pleasure centers to life.

Send Her a Letter
Write her a letter—one that does not involve a laser printer or an e-mail address. Write what you feel, but the ruling sentiment should be one of gratitude and confidence in your future together. Then mail it to her.

Give Her a V
To increase clitoral contact when she's on top, make a V with two fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down on either side of your penis as she rides you. This will stimulate the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra—as well as add intensity for you.

Call Her within 48 Hours
A beautiful woman gave you her number; use it within 48 hours. Otherwise, you'll look scared—or stupid for resorting to high-school mind games.

Leave a Confident Voicemail
If you get her voicemail, leave a message. To convey confidence, your voice should be deep and moderately loud. Stand up and hum a little before you call—it will bring your voice to the ideal pitch.

Don't Go South During Foreplay
During foreplay, agree that the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of her body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns her on, and ask her to describe how it feels. This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode.

Ease into Dirty Talk
Want to know if she likes to talk dirty? Tell her, "You make me think dirty thoughts." Ease in slowly. It's best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat.

Flatter Her 5 Times a Day
Compliment her at least 5 times a day. It'll make her feel special, appreciated, and closer to you. And the more connected she feels, the more sexually inspired she'll feel.

Shop for Cologne She Likes
If you don't have a cologne that she likes, shop for one with her. It's a form of foreplay.

Hold Her Hand
Holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac. It shows her you're devoted and proud to tell the world.

Assume a New Position
Assume the Cuban Plunge sex position: As you assume the man-on-top position, ask her to bring her knees to her chest and drape her legs over your shoulders. Her vagina will be elongated and extended, and your penetration will be deeper and more pleasurable for her, which qualifies as a win-win situation.

Praise Her
Compliment her in front of your friends.

Just Kiss
The next time you kiss her, don't try to steal second. Just kiss. Men use kissing primarily as a means to an end—to advance sexual relations. Yet women mainly use kissing as a way to monitor the status of the relationship, and especially a partner's commitment level.

Keep the Lights Low
One of the biggest reasons women can't relax during sex is body image. Keep the lights low. A candle? Perfect.

Show Her Passion
"Passion" means being in the moment and not being distracted. Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry.

Whisper Fantasies in Public
Lie on a blanket in a park, with people all around, and whisper fantasies to one another, sparing no detail. You'll create sexual tension—but with safety, as there's no possibility of sex then and there.

Create Anticipation
Use anticipation as an aphrodisiac. Instead of tearing her clothes off, take your time. Tell her what you want to do with each section of exposed skin.

Tell Her to Go Slow
Words she loves to hear: "It's OK to go slow." Say it and mean it.

Sit at a 90-Degree Angle
On a dinner date, always position yourself at a 90-degree angle to her rather than straight on. If she sits at the end of the table, sit in the first seat to her left. Turn toward her from the waist, which will give her the opportunity to turn toward you.

Don't Agree to Disagree
When you and your girlfriend disagree, never agree to disagree. Agreeing to disagree shuts down the communication process and resolves nothing. And the less comfortable she feels communicating, the less confident she'll feel about the relationship.

Ask Her for a Kissing Lesson
Ask her to demonstrate what she considers a sexy kiss. Then let her do all the work. It's educational...and fun.

Mix Things Up in Bed
Don't be afraid to mix things up in bed. Sexual novelty re-creates those early-relationship, take-me-now hormones.

Fund a Sexy Shopping Spree
Fund an erotic shopping spree. Write out a gift certificate with an expiration date that coincides with your evening at a hotel. If she prefers to shop alone, let her—either way, you'll find out what interests her.

Start Volunteering
Join a volunteer group. Selflessness is sexy—and research has shown that women consider altruism more important than men do. To show your selfless stuff, join a Meetup volunteer group (volunteerism.meetup.com).

Start Sex in a New Place
Start sex outside the bedroom. The same old place leads to the same old patterns. So explore some new erogenous areas: The kitchen. The bathroom. Quebec City. Your bodies will be in new places, making it unlikely that you'll follow old routines.

Offer Her Chocolate
Feed her chocolate: It'll load her up with phenylethylamine, a neurotransmitter that activates the brain's pleasure center, and caffeine, which can jolt her sex drive.

Ride in an Overnight Train
Take an overnight train with your girlfriend or wife. There's the excitement of traveling in a novel way. And there's your sleeping compartment. It's a new place—and it moves, which adds a new dynamic to sex. And it's somewhat public: There's the excitement when you're in flagrante delicto as the train stops, and people are outside your window.

Use Appliances as Vibrators
Here's a new place to have sex: on the washer. Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in the home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your penis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.

Use Your Beanbag Chair
Another new place to have sex: in a beanbag chair. You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in unaccustomed ways. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (that's the chair, not you).

Have Sex in a Forest
New Place to Have Sex III: a national park. If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.

Stop the Elevator
New Place to Have Sex IV: the elevator. Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy.

Seduce Her in Your Car
Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim a space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it's steeped in testosterone, and there's a throwback, high-school quality to it.

Earn Your Right to Experiment
Sexual experimentation is earned, not inherited. It requires time, tact, and trust: 66 percent of the women we surveyed said they're most willing to experiment later in a relationship.

Give Her a Proper Warmup
Clitoral contact in particular feels abrasive without a proper warmup. If a woman yips or inhales suddenly when you go there—instead of purring or moaning—you've jumped the gun.

Try a New Sex Position
Try the Yab-Yum sex position: You both sit up, and she faces you, sitting on your lap with a pillow under her bottom for easier penetration. You'll have constant contact with her clitoris, but she'll control the pressure.

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