50 Life Lessons Every One Should Know By The Age Of 50

The following 50 valuable life lessons where written by Regina Brett, from Cleveland , Ohio.
These gems of knowledge have been learnt over the past 50 years, why would you not want to get your knowledge up and read on for a little ‘Life 101′.

50 Life Lessons

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Credit : Addicted2Success.com

Five Signs You’re in the Wrong Job

You’re not quite content at work, nevertheless you shuttle to and fro your job every business day. You know that nothing in life is perfect, so you do your best to placate the sneaking suspicion that something’s off -- that you’re in the wrong job. Is your job an ominous presence you should exorcise from your life? You certainly don’t need to be M. Night Shyamalan to see the signs.

 

                                        Sign No. 1: You’re a Loner at Work

You’re not a social pariah, yet you have no friends at work. You’re not clicking with anyone in your office. You’re unable to forge a connection with your coworkers beyond exchanging the most rudimentary pleasantries. You go in, you do your job and you leave.

What’s keeping you from bonding? Are you too different in terms of age, culture or style? Be honest. Is the kitten appliqué on your colleague’s sweatshirt keeping you two from hitting it off? Shallow as it sounds, maybe you need to be in a work environment with colleagues who match up with you a little better.

Working without your peeps is long, dry and alienating. Your productivity depends on friends -- and so does your long-term happiness.

Sign No. 2: You’re Ashamed of Your Job

Here’s a sure sign you’re in the wrong job. You can’t bring yourself to tell people what you do. Think how much your shame will impede your ability to be effective in your job and how many networking opportunities you’ll miss if you hide behind euphemistic statements like “I’m in property management” when, in fact, you run an adult movie theater.

Whether you manufacture porn or toilet paper, take pride in how well you do your job. If you aren’t proud of your work you’ll never be able to derive satisfaction from it.

Sign No. 3: Your Workload Overwhelms You

It’s normal to feel a little frazzled now and again, especially amid pressure-cooker deadlines and quarter-end quotas. But it’s not a good sign if you routinely carry on like a decapitated chicken. You’re in the wrong job if you have more work than you’re capable of doing in the allotted time.

It’s also not a good sign if you’re so overwhelmed that you experience frequent bouts of anxiety. You’re agitated. You’re emotional. You have mood swings. One minute you’re on your daily commute laughing at something you heard on sports radio and the next minute you're sobbing inconsolably because somebody cut you off on the road.

Sign No. 4: You’re Stagnating at Work

You’re underutilizing your skills to the point of atrophy. This is not quite the same as being overqualified. You can still be in the right job even if it’s beneath your level of expertise. But it’s a bad sign if you’re losing the stuff that makes you stand out professionally. Unless you use and develop most skills regularly, you’ll lose them and fall behind.

What to do? Renew your membership to a trade association, keep current with required training or work a minimum number of hours in your specialization. You’re in the wrong job if you can’t or don’t have time to do these things.

Sign No. 5: There’s No Growth and Development in Your Job

Somewhere along the way you landed a job, and the company mistook you for a mere functionary. Or maybe you mistook yourself for a mere functionary. Your job contains zero element of discovery. In reality, you’re a student of life and have plenty left to learn. It’s your responsibility to continue your education. You’re in the wrong job if you’re not exposed to learning opportunities or aren’t taking advantage of them.

Opportunities don’t hide under rocks. They’re all around you -- at industry events, weekend seminars, Webinars. Most companies have budget to send their staff for professional development and training when it’s relevant to the job. Find out what your employer’s policy is.

If you can’t access company funding, take advantage of your fellow colleagues and clients. If you’re new to the job, learn from the tenured people. If you’re a veteran, learn from the newbie with the fresh perspective. The key is to keep an open mind and recognize the chances you’re given to grow and develop.

If you recognize yourself a little too much in these menacing signs, then use them as a wake-up call. You owe it to yourself to look around for something worthy of your time and energy.

Life : Are you a Real Man?

• What You Need To Know
• A real man knows the difference between what's important and what isn't.
• A real man doesn't gossip. He shelters information and rations his words.
• Real men have taken their lumps and learned to defend themselves to succeed.

"A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. "

To build a great house, you need a strong foundation upon which to assemble all the other pretty things. To build a great man, you also need a solid foundation upon which to add all the other little things that set the real men apart from the stronzos. Let's not piss around, the stuff inside matters most.

Over the last few years of writing this little column, I've learned that too many men have no foundation on which to build the principles I teach. There are many ways to define a man, and different people have different definitions, so I'm going to skip all that crap and tell you the only thing you need to know: My way is the correct way, and that's it, that's all. Capisce?

a real man reads

If you don't agree, go read the column of some guy from Arkansas who thinks owning a pickup truck is what defines a man. You'll see how far you get with his advice.

Trait No. 1: A real man is strong

A real man doesn't cry, doesn't moan, doesn't complain, doesn't get sick, and doesn't need to go to the doctor every time he sneezes. A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. A real man accepts responsibility for his actions and his words. A real man is firm. If life is a b*tch, a real man will slap it and move on.

A real man is macho. A real man is tough. A real man doesn't show emotions. A real man is the backbone of his family and doesn't have time to be weak. If spiders scare you, you'll never be a real man.

Trait No. 2: A real man is focused

A real man knows the difference between what's important and what isn't. A real man doesn't waste time on stupidities that don't bring him any profit. Sure, there are things you can do as a hobby -- I like to shoot ducks -- but it must have a purpose. The purpose of my hobby is to improve my aim, and I don't have to tell you whether or not that's a useful thing in my line of work.

A real man focuses on power, money and family. He doesn't focus on sex. Sex comes as a result of having power, money and a wife (and if she doesn't satisfy you, there are plenty of other women who will, especially when you are powerful and rich).

Trait No. 3: A real man knows the importance of family

A real man will keep his family strong and pass on his ancestors' history and traditions. A real man knows that his children are God's gift and should be treated as such, even if he disciplines them from time to time.

A real man must also remember his other Family, his organization. In my world, both my family and my Family hold the same importance; I protect them both with all my might. If you have a Family, don't forget where your loyalties lie and who has your back when you need it.

 

A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman."

Trait No. 4: A real man doesn't gossip

A real man follows omerta; he keeps his mouth shut. He shelters information and rations his words. A real man does not reveal more than he has to and doesn't engage in girlie talk about others. A real man doesn't discuss things he doesn't know about or people he has never met.

Trait No. 5: A real man's word is his bond

When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can't keep a promise, he doesn't give his word. A real man would rather die than break his word. A real man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and that they must be taken at face value. That is why he rations them (see above).

Trait No. 6: A real man strives to be a role model

A real man respects himself and others at all times, unless, of course, he has been disrespected. A real man sets an example for his disciples, and especially for his children. I never bring my work home, so my children only know me as their father and not as a waste management executive. You should do the same; a real man sets the tone for his children and keeps them from discovering that he has weaknesses.

Trait No. 7: A real man makes his own fortune

A real man doesn't settle for handouts or charity when it comes to his personal fortune. A real man isn't satisfied with papa's money. He spits on Lady Luck and decides his own destiny. A real man who inherits goods from his forefathers takes his inheritance and turns it into 10 times what it was.

Trait No. 8: A real man doesn't look like a woman

A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair, and he doesn't shave his chest. Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.

A real man has at least three suits (with a mandatory pinstriped one) that cost more than a roomful of escorts. A real man wears a suit at least three times a week. Any man who doesn't know how to tie a tie should hand in his testicoli immediately.

Trait No. 9: A real man keeps his house in order

Have you ever been inside the boss’ house? There ain’t no pizza boxes sitting around, there ain’t no undershirts on the floor, and there sure as hell ain’t no unpaid bills being used as beer coasters. No ruler can rule over a territory if he isn’t already the master of his own home.

This means you lazy pinheads out there need to stop using machismo as an excuse to live like a bottom-feeder; keep your sty spotless, keep your documents in order and -- listen up on this one -- clean your freaking suits.

A real man keeps it simple. "

Trait No. 10: A real man can defend himself

You know what’s missing in the world today? Leaders who have had to fight their way to the top. No joking, look at the head of any business that’s circling the toilet bowl, and I’ll show you a boss whose parents' power and money kept him from ever learning things the hard way.

Every successful capo has been on the wrong end of a beatdown -- be it with words or be it with a set of A. Testonis. But those future capos got up again and again, until they knew how to stand their ground -- and that, my students, is when you can start to climb the ladder.

lesson over

So what have you learned here today, class? You learned that you have a lot of homework to do before you can call yourself a real man. The essence of manhood is when a man has reached the pinnacle of his role.

You see? That was me trying to be a smart-ass. Here's a bonus trait: A real man keeps it simple. If you know big words, use them rarely and appropriately -- at least in front of morons who think they're smarter than you. Remember, the stuff inside matters most. Lesson over.

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Signs You Have A Cheating Wife

You're married to a wonderful girl, you have a solid relationship and she would never cheat on you... right? Wrong. Men, never underestimate a woman's willingness to stray; women can be just as unfaithful as men in relationships. Having a cheating wife is a concern that haunts many men in relationships. Just the thought of your lady putting her paws on another man makes your skin crawl. That's why it's always important to keep a lookout for some of the surefire signs you have a cheating wife.

So, what are some of the signs you have a cheating wife, and what can you do about them? Get your answers here before you start accusing her of being a two-timer.

signs you have a cheating wife

One of the major signs you have a cheating wife is if you spot any changes in her behavior, so if she's always been a guy's girl and has a lot of male friends, don't get paranoid when you hear that she was seen at the movies with her friend Max.

The following are five signs you have a cheating wife:

1- She's no longer as needy

If she was never able to go shopping, exercise or cross the street alone, and she suddenly doesn't need your company, it may mean that someone else is filling your shoes. It's possible that she just needs time to herself, but if she's unusually independent when she used to be overly needy, it may signal that she's just no longer as needy... of you.

2- She no longer gets angry

She used to get angry if you didn't want to meet her for lunch or come out with her and her friends, but now everything you do is all right by her. Once upon a time, your every move had to be premeditated, but now all the small things you used to mess up aren't enraging her. This could be a good thing, but it should make you wonder why she no longer cares.

3- She's being secretive

She's no longer sharing her daily events with you, and in order to find out what she's doing, you'd have to hack into her BlackBerry because she's not volunteering any information regarding the goings-on in her life.

4- She places the focus on you

When you do ask her questions, she turns the tables on you. The former chatterbox's batteries have run out, and when you ask her how her night was, mum's the only word. It's now all about you, you, you, rather than "I did this" and "I went here last night."

5- She showers you with pleasure

Now that it's all about you, your girlfriend is always complimenting you, asking you to go out, giving you "I love you" cards for no reason whatsoever, and even offering to wash your car and watch the boxing match with you. While these gestures are more than sweet, it's this kind of overcompensating behavior that can make one suspicious. If she's bombarding you with niceties, it might be nice to know what's really going on.

 

how to handle it

There's no need to get paranoid and suspicious if she's exhibiting any of the signs you have a cheating wife. If you think her recent behavior isn't adding up or you catch her lying, do not accuse her of cheating. Think about whether or not she's given you a reason to suspect her of two-timing you, or whether it's your imagination running wild because you're afraid of losing her.

Here's how to handle your suspicions:

You have a feeling

If you think she may be cheating, approach her but don't bring up the cheating. Ask her if everything is OK, and tell her that she's been acting different lately. Give her examples of how her behavior has changed, and tell her that you want to know and understand if there's a reason for it.

You want to open the lines of communication and encourage her to open up about what is troubling her in the relationship, and proceed from there. When she's showing the signs you have a cheating wife, approaching her can be a delicate situation.

You have more than a sneaking suspicion

If you have adequate reason to believe that she's cheating on you, do not accuse or threaten her because if you're wrong, she'll feel that you really don't trust her. Rather than exclaiming, "I know what's going on!" or "Who have you been messing around with?" ask, "Is there something I should know?" or "I have reason to believe that you're not being 100% honest with me."

This may seem passive, but you want to approach the topic carefully because if you're wrong, you may be messing up big time. If you're right, however, you have permission to raise hell.

You catch her or have concrete evidence

If there is no way that this is a misunderstanding and you are positive that she's been pawing another dog, approach her with more assertion. Tell her what you saw, how it makes you feel, and what you plan to do about it.

forgive and forget

Being unfaithful in a relationship is horrible, but there is a bigger picture here. You have to realize that a cheating wife may be the result of a problem in your relationship. If she's deceiving you by getting cuddly with another man, it could mean that she is going elsewhere to find what your relationship lacks -- which doesn't make her actions right, but only less despicable.

If you discover that she cheated on you, there are a few questions you must ask yourself:

Can you trust her again?

If the answer is no: You can't get back together.

If the answer is yes: It may take time, but you can give it another try. You'll have to tell her that it'll be hard to trust her, but with her help and time, it can happen.

Why do you think she did it?

If she doesn't tell you why: You'll have to evaluate whether you can still forgive her.

If it has to do with your relationship: When you're ready, you can work on the problems in your relationship.

Is your relationship worth another try?

If you can move past her deceit and give her another chance, then when you're ready, sit down, talk to her, and try to understand why she did it. There may be no reason at all (it could just be the fault of stupidity with a pinch of vodka), but if there is a reason why she cheated on you, then ignoring why she did it can lead it to happen again -- and then you'll be cheating yourself.

once a cheater...

We all make mistakes, which doesn't make cheating acceptable, but if she shows remorse for her actions and if she's worth the effort of giving it another shot, then you can forgive -- although you may need more time to forget.

Life : Exploring America’s Addiction to Porn

Via: Online Psychology Degree

Life : Seven Questions You Should Never Ask

When we’re just getting to know someone—a friend, a business associate, a romantic partner—being inquisitive about the other person’s background and interests is a healthy and inevitable part of the process. But that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to fire off just any question that pops into your mind, no matter how burning your desire to know the answer is. In the case of these seven topics, your curiosity will get you nowhere fast.

1. How much money do you make?

The only times it’s acceptable to ask this question are when you’re an employer interviewing a prospective employee and need that person’s salary history, and when you have a domestic partner with whom you’ve merged your finances. Otherwise, it’s strictly off-limits. Even if you share every other detail of your life with your friends and family members—and even if you choose to be open about how much you make—that doesn’t mean anyone is required to disclose his or her earnings to you. Nor are you entitled, just because a friend may have revealed her salary in past positions, to know that information about subsequent jobs she takes. When it comes to money, mum’s the word.

2. Are you pregnant?

Many females lowball how much they weigh, even on their driver’s license, so you shouldn’t even have to ask why it’s not a good idea to ask a woman any pointed weight-related questions. But just to make things crystal clear: 1) A woman who is not pregnant but is simply overweight may already be struggling with low self-esteem or poor health, so to mistakenly ascribe her heaviness to pregnancy is to add insult to injury. 2) Worse, if a woman has visible abdominal bloating, it could be symptomatic of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (a complication from certain fertility drugs) or the result of undergoing in vitro fertilization—meaning not only is that woman not pregnant, but she also can’t conceive a child without medical intervention, in which case inquiring whether she’s pregnant will only draw attention to her already difficult emotional and physical circumstances. 3) If a woman looks pregnant, she might actually be. But that doesn’t mean she’s ready to tell people yet, let alone a complete stranger.

3. Why aren’t you married?

Statistically, there’s a good chance that if the person you’re asking is in his or her thirties or forties and beyond, he or she already has been married and is now divorced. If that’s the case, the person may have ended the marriage very recently and may still be reeling emotionally, so this question is both invasive and potentially traumatic. In the case of homosexual couples, many states won’t even allow them to marry legally, and while the couples might not have made that decision for themselves, it could still be a sore subject. Finally, even if someone isn’t currently and has never been married, who’s to say he or she even believes in the institution in the first place? If the respondent feels strongly that marriage is little more than a legal agreement, all you’ll get in response to your query is a long diatribe on what a meaningless arrangement it is—and you’ll deserve it for nosing around in the first place. 

4. Why don’t you want/have kids?

The decision to have or not have children is one of the most personal in life, and as such, asking someone about his or her opting not to procreate is not advisable, as it could be perceived as disrespectful or judgmental. It may be the “American way” to have 1.5 kids, but people choose not to follow that path for a wide range of reasons: maybe they aren’t biologically capable of reproducing or able to adopt; maybe they had a child who died in infancy, and starting over is too painful; maybe they just want to enjoy their adulthood without shouldering the responsibility of caring for another life. As with the question “Are you pregnant?” the answer to this one is, quite simply, none of your business.

5. Do you believe in God?

Religion manifests itself in myriad forms, from going to church every Sunday to making a pilgrimage to Mecca to practicing yoga regularly to worshipping at the altar of red wine each weekend. No matter what someone’s religious—or atheistic or agnostic—inclinations are, his or her decision to share those views with you should be left to individual discretion and good timing. If you ask a friend, “Do you believe in God?” she might say no but could still be an intensely spiritual person—one who doesn’t feel comfortable discussing her rich inner life with you because your mention of a specific deity might imply your inability to appreciate the realm of faith beyond organized religion.

6. How much does your house/rent/car/purse/child’s tuition cost?

This type of query generally accomplishes little more than setting up a dichotomy between the “haves” and the “have nots,” and breeding resentment and competition within otherwise loving relationships. The way people choose to spend their money—whether they’ve earned it through hard work or are blowing a massive inheritance or trust fund—is up to them. And why do you care, anyway? If an acquaintance tells you she paid $900 for her Louis Vuitton tote, what does that mean to you: that she’s squandering her wealth, or that you have to have one of your own to keep up with the Joneses? Either way, that question is a loaded one. And even if your motives are genuinely practical—for example, you’re considering enrolling your child in the school your friend’s kid attends and want to know if you can afford it—it’s not right to put someone on the spot about how much tuition she pays, especially when you can learn such information by simply visiting the school’s website.

7. How many people have you slept with?

Even if the person you’re asking is someone with whom you’re considering having a sexual relationship, this question is more offensive than pragmatic. (In this case, the truly important inquiry to pose up front is not how many people your prospective partner has been intimate with, but rather whether [and when] he or she has been screened for all manner of sexually transmitted diseases.) The number of partners someone has had in the past could be embarrassing, whether because it’s “too many” or “too few,” in society’s opinion, or because the person has lost count and doesn’t want to admit it. In addition, the emotional significance people assign to the act of sex varies widely, so while sleeping with a hundred people could seem perfectly normal to one person, having sex with five could feel deviant to another—and in either case, asking someone for that figure could be divisive because doing so calls forth a discussion of personal values that don’t necessarily reflect your own sexual mores. Worst of all, consider the ramifications of asking a rape victim how many people she’s had intercourse with—how would it make her feel to have to wonder whether to include her rapist in her head count, just to satisfy your curiosity?
Cultivating personal relationships is a lifelong undertaking, and the closer you become to someone, the greater the likelihood that you’ll be privy to the intimate details of his or her life. These seven subjects may not be verboten forever—in fact, they often arise organically over the course of years spent with loved ones—but if you’re not sure whether they’re appropriate to broach, chances are, they aren’t yet. When it comes to curiosity, discretion is certainly the better part of valor.

9 Ways to Know If They’re Just Looking For a Good Time

1. They don’t make concrete plans with you too far in advance - Somebody who wants to make sure they get to spend time with you is going to lock you down for a date AT LEAST 48 hours in advance if not more. If the person you’re seeing can’t make plans or confirm plans less than 24 hours before, and don’t offer up some sort of reason why they can’t solidify plans like they have a pressing job related project or other obligation, it’s probably because they’re weighing their options. Which could mean someone else is on the roster or they have other plans that are more interesting to them, like tickets to a game or whatnot. Whatever that other thing might be, it means you are not high on the priority list.

2. They make a lot of last minute plans – The occasional last minute thing isn’t that big of an issue. It happens. But if this is a common occurrence, there are two possible reasons. 1. Other plans fell through or 2. Whomever else they’re seeing is not around. Yes. That’s right. Meaning you are a side dish, not the main course. Accept the plans once or twice without saying you prefer to have more advanced notice or without sharing that you have other plans around which you need to schedule and they’ll think you’re always going to be available. Flexible is great. But if you frequently find yourself at the other end of the 8pm or 9pm phone call asking you to meet them for a drink, or waiting by the phone on Thursday wondering if you’ll see them that weekend, you’re being taken advantage of.

3. Everything is fun and light, and you two never talk about the future or where things are going. – This conversation is unlikely if you’ve only had a smattering of dates. But if you’ve been consistently seeing each other beyond, say, 5 dates, and you’re sleeping together, and you are both looking for something solid..this conversation needs to be had. I don’t care if they’ve talked about future vacations or weddings or other such nonsense. Talk is cheap, baby. If someone want to be sure that you’ll be in their future, they’re going to lock you down in the present. If they’re avoiding that conversation, it’s because they don’t want to be committed. As long as you say nothing, they’re fine. But speak up and you can bet you’ll have your answer based on how they react. If their behavior changes, that’s your answer.

4. You see each other no more than once a week - I don’t care if they text you every day, or call,  or email you and say the most delicious of things….if, after 4 or 5 dates, you’re not seeing them more than once every 5-8 days, you are casual dating material at best. This will not change. The email conversations and cutesy things are just due diligence, something they’re doing to keep you on the roster. That sounds manipulative and malicious, but it’s really not. They like you. They’re having fun. They’re just either do not want anything more or don’t think you’re the person with which they could have it.

5. You’re not  consistently spending an extended period of time with them. – I’m talking full days or weekends here. The infrequent dinner into a sleepover and then breakfast in the morning does not count. It’s acceptable that someone might not be able to stay over during the week, especially if they work odd hours or a regular 9-5.  Although, after a while (say maybe a couple of months) you and they should have worked out some sort of schedule. During the week they don’t stay over, weekends they do. If they’re looking for a serious relationship, they’re going to spend more and more time with you on a regular basis.

6. You don’t often see them in their natural habitat. – How often do they bring you to their place? Have you met their friends? Co-workers? Do you ever meet them at the office? Do they take you to places they frequent…or to places they’ve “always wanted to try?” This could be me being paranoid but…someone who is always taking you to “new” places, meaning new to them or not in their neighborhood, who also doesn’t incorporate you into their lives to some degree scream “married” or at least “taken.” They’re avoiding the possibility of being caught or seen by someone who knows them. Don’t be fooled just because they meet your friends, either. You want them to integrate you in to their lives. Re: Meeting the family…I don’t think not meeting someone’s family in the first 6 months or so  is necessarily a deal breaker. So many of us come from what we lovingly call dysfunctional families. Sometimes we think we’re protecting them by not introducing them to our relatives.

7.You’re not getting a lot of weekend dates. – We’ve discussed this one before. I still stand by my assertion that, after 3-5 dates, if you’re not regularly getting the full Friday night or Saturday night, you are merely an option on their playlist. The whole point of getting the Friday or Saturday is to spend more time together the next day. In fact, the whole point of dating someone when you’re looking for a serious relationship is to spend as much time with them as possible to determine compatibility. A few hours here and there, with the occasional sleepover, is casual dating territory. Acceptable in the beginning. Not acceptable if it’s been going on for a couple of months or longer and you’re looking for something serious.

8. They don’t have a recent history of committing. - If you ask someone the last time they had a serious relationship, meaning longer than a year, and they haven’t had one of those in a few years,  it’s highly unlikely you’re going to be the one to tame that horse. If they’re divorced, that’s one thing. A lot of people are too thrown through a loop after a divorce and, depending on how long they were married, need significant time to re-adjust. But if this is someone who has never been married and they’re in their late thirties or over then they probably either aren’t anxious to commit because they don’t want to or have to, or they’re just not ready for/are capable of a real relationship. If they are ready/capable and don’t have much recent serious relationship experience, they’ll show you by making themselves available, literally and figuratively.

9. They don’t really commit to themselves. - A lot of people work hard to work out their stuff. Just because someone is of a certain age and not settled down doesn’t mean they’re not good candidates.  Someone who has quit drinking or smoking, or lost weight, or taken up exercise, or gotten their finances in order, or gone to therapy, or gone back to school…That’s a form of commitment. To themselves. That counts, too.  That’s a good thing. You want to see that in a person.You want to know that they are clear about what they want and truly open to having it. No games, no drama, no inconsistent behavior, no excuses. Plenty of people see the error of their ways and decide enough is enough. They decide that they’re ready for something healthy and real and do the work necessary to attain that.  They make changes. If someone is of a certain age and doesn’t really seem to be very settled, and doesn’t appear to be working on getting settled, hasn’t committed to themselves. Which means they probably won’t commit to you.

And I know. Some of you will say that there are exceptions and no dating rules. I agree. But there are some basic guidelines that are typically adhered to that help people determine where they stand.

10 Moments When You Need To Be An A**hole

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to pull himself up by his bootstraps (do boots still have straps?) and take matters into his own hands. In short -- and using a cruder term -- a guy just has to be an a**hole.

In my favorite new book, A**holeology: The Cheat Sheet, the author breaks down close to 100 specific situations when a man is justified in exhibiting a**hole behavior. In the first A**holeology book, he explained why a guy would want to be an a**hole, but in the follow-up he explains how to be a successful a**hole at work, in relationships, with friends and family, and even with perfect strangers (yup, the Perfect Strangers theme song is now in my head too).

Since it wouldn’t be very advantageous to give away all of the book for free (plus, my publishers would be pissed), let's just skim the surface and discuss 10 crucial moments in a man’s life when he just has to be assertive, aggressive and act like a total a**hole.

No.10 At a boring bachelor party

Ever been to a bachelor party where it seems like nothing is happening (nor will anything happen) because everyone in the group is being incredibly blaaaahhhh? I’m not saying every bachelor party has to be a knock-down, drunken occasion when everyone blacks out Hangover-style, but if men can’t make up their minds on simple decisions like where to eat, drink and be merry, then it’s time to act like an a**hole and kick the party into high gear. If the groom and the rest of the gaggle are going to lollygag around, you have to choose the direction for the rest of the evening. It’s time to step up and make this a night to remember -- at least for yourself.

No.9 With rude people that you have been polite to

This is an ultimate pet peeve: You may find this occurs when you go out of your way to be polite (almost overly polite) to a stranger by holding the door for longer than necessary, letting him or her cut into line with less items, or allowing another car to merge into traffic. A simple gesture of “thank you” must be given in these situations. If the person doesn’t even have the decency to give thanks for the kind gesture, then you don’t have to have the decency to let it go without making mention. Be an a**hole and call them out on it. Yell out “you’re welcome” as they pass through the door, take a couple of items off the counter when they aren’t looking, or beep the horn for however long they drive in front of your car.

No.8 When you’re getting screwed by customer service

Customer service is there to help the customer have a better user experience. Some places and customer service reps act as if they are doing people a favor by listening to complaints. Unless things get accomplished, there is no use for customer service. Always remember you’re the person that is right and that you hold the power, because in the end you can just take your money elsewhere.

No.7 When you’re getting screwed at work

If your boss is treating you like crap, sometimes it’s good for the ego to step up and defend yourself, but most of the time it will just end up hurting your career. You have to deal with jerk bosses. Where you can’t get pushed around is in situations with other coworkers. These are the people who feel they can pass along all the work just because they have seniority or because they know you’ll probably do it without making it an issue. The buck stops in your inbox. Give the work right back to them and let them know you’re not their lackey or assistant. If they have an issue, you should all have a sit-down with the boss and air it out. I’m sure that jerk would love to know the people who actually do nothing all day.

No.6 When she’s nagging you (again)

Men do have to keep up their end of the relationship. There are certain things that must be done. I’m sure there are things she does for you that she hates but she sucks it up and does them anyway (probably all sexual). You have to lend a hand around the house -- but on your own terms. Tell her you will do everything she wants, but when you have the time, energy and, frankly, when there's nothing else better to do. And you'll do it. Just at your own pace. Tell her it will get done, but the more she busts your chops about it, the more you’ll put it off. Of course that doesn’t make sense. We are men. Who said our thinking made sense?

No.5 When someone is talking behind your back

Talk is cheap. So are boots with straps. I just looked it up. People are always going to gossip (even a**holes), but when people are saying negative things behind your back that are actually negatively affecting your life, it’s time to put a stop to the noise. Confront the person face-to-face. Tell them you want to air out your differences and come to some type of understanding about this situation. Of course they will probably deny ever saying anything, but at least now they know you’ve got wind of the words flying around and you’re not going to let it happen again.

No.4 When no one else is stepping up

In many situations, people just refuse to step up and say how everyone else is feeling (this is a bigger moment than the bachelor party scenario). It’s your job to be the a**hole and take charge. If it’s at work, call a meeting to talk to management on behalf of the staff. If it’s in your personal life, talk for the people who refuse to use their voice. An a**hole always stands up and leads. Don’t let anyone else do the talking for you.

No.3 With your deadbeat friend

Everyone has that friend who’s been in their life for years. Over time, things and people change, but sometimes people continue to hang on to relationships that really no longer serve a purpose. People are especially prone to keeping connected to friends who are incredible emotional, physical and sometimes financial drains. Time to cut ties and let the deadbeat know you’re no longer going to be an enabler or a friend. Wish them well with no hard feelings, and go your separate ways.

No.2 In divorce court

When the marriage hits the skids and it’s time to divvy up the goods, men usually get the raw deal. If it’s a guy’s fault that the relationship is heading for divorce (meaning he cheated), then he’s just going to have to live with the decision. If both partners are to blame, then there is no reason to make too many concessions. You’ve earned everything you have, and you’ve earned the right to fight for it. If she isn’t willing to do things amicably, then you have to be the biggest a**hole you could possibly be.

No.1 With another asshole

It’s a face-off: a**hole versus a**hole. Sounds like the hype around a UFC fight on pay-per-view. Actually, it’s very possible in any of the above situations to come face-to-face with another a**hole. It’s always vital in these situations to come out on top.

Life : 10 Numbers You Should Have on Speed Dial

Consider these digits your digital Swiss army knife—essential tools that can help you not only get out of a sticky situation, but also turn it to your advantage.

U.S. Department of State Bureau of Consular Affairs' Overseas Citizens Services

You thought you were just bringing home a ceramic monkey, but instead you've picked up a concussion, 73 stitches, and a trial date in a Moroccan drug court. Luckily, you have the U.S. Department of State's Overseas Citizens Services on speed dial. Their case officers can assist in handling robberies, medical emergencies, missing passports, and pretty much any other sort of calamity that could ruin a family vacation. 202-501-4444

Weber Grill-Line

Wondering how to yank the beer can out of the chicken, keep grilled red snapper from falling apart, or smoke rib tips? Ring a certified barbecue expert (known as a CBE in BBQ-speak) at the Weber Grill-Line. These veteran grill jockeys—the line has answered more than a million calls since its debut in 1989—are on call seven days a week from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. central time (closed on Christmas). 800-474-5568

Language Line Services

This number offers 24-7 emergency translations of more than 170 languages from Icelandic to Urdu to Fukienese (say it out loud). All you need to do is enter a credit-card number—it's $3.95 a minute—and within a few seconds, a translator will hop on the line. Finally, an easy way to firm up account details with those well-intentioned Nigerian businessmen who keep e-mailing. 800-752-6096

411-SONG

Unidentified catchy tunes—they're as infectious as smallpox. Next time you're dying to find out the title and artist of a song, dial 411-SONG. Hold your cell phone up to the speaker for 15 seconds, and the service will identify the tune from its database of 2.5 million songs (sorry, no classical or live tracks) and then send you a text message containing the title and artist and an option to buy the song. The call is free, as is the first time you try it. After that, you are billed 99 cents per text message. 866-411-7664

GOOG-411

The Internet giant has now wrapped one of its rainbow-colored tentacles around 411, ending the reign of pay information services, which never seem to have the listing you need anyway. 800-466-4411

800-TAXI-CAB

The name and number say it all. This taxi referral service will hook you up with a local independently owned cab company in any metro area in the country, as well as some very nonmetro areas. Also offers limo services and airport shuttles. 800-829-4222

In Case of Emergency

Started by paramedics in 2005, the ICE program is an effort to get people to list their emergency contacts in their phone under the label ICE. Then, if you're in an accident, police or hospital staff can use your cell phone to notify your family or friends quickly. Simply input the phone numbers and store them as ICE-wife, ICE-dad, ICE-daughter, etc. Some people also put a small red sticker on their phone to let emergency services know it contains ICE numbers.

EZLinks

If you're in, say, Phoenix, with an afternoon to kill and you want to get in a round of golf, all you need to do is call the EZLinks 24-hour customer-service line and they'll find you an open tee time. The free online reservation system is used by more than 900 courses throughout the United States, and it offers daily deals and a name-your-own-price option. If only they could add a name-your-own-score service. 888-885-4657

Hotels.com

Exiting Orlando after a trip to Disney when the car breaks down? In mid-July? The chances of finding a vacancy sign on foot are about nil, but one quick call to hotels.com, the online reservation giant, and you'll have the nearest available double queen from the 70,000 properties they serve. The hotel may not have a swimming pool, but, hey, neither does the car. 800-246-8357

Les Concierges

If you've got the scratch, opt for one phone number to rule them all: For between $295 and $795 a month, depending on your service level, a Les Concierges 24-hour personal concierge team member will shorten your list of to-dos to "pick up the kids" and "kiss the wife." Your over-the-phone assistant can set up Super Bowl trips, reserve squash courts, score hard-to-get reservations at exclusive restaurants, throw an impromptu cocktail party, name your new dog, and phone in excuses to your mother-in-law. 415-905-6082

Life : 8 signs that you’re getting old

Unfortunately, no one can stay a vibrant twenty-something forever. Unless you’ve got a pass to Neverland ranch eventually you’re forced to grow up. As the days pass us by, we’re treated to some not-so-subtle reminders, that slowly but surely, we’re getting pretty damn old. Here are eight signs that let you know that no matter how much you ignore it, you’re getting closer and closer to the day when you’re that angry old guy shooing kids off your lawn with a hose.

8 Throwing out your back
You never really know how often your back is utilized until you lose all usage of it. One can blow out their back in a variety of ways: an ill-timed attempt at picking up some luggage, a rough tackle in a pick-up football game, sleeping at a bizarre angle, and many many more. The pain itself is excruciating, but the toughest part of throwing out your back is the embarrassing amount that you’ll need someone to help you do pretty much everything. Nothing says you’re getting old like needing someone to help you get up and go to the bathroom.

7 Doing your own taxes
Once upon a time, you would hear your parents gripe to their adult friends about taxes, and how April 15th was the worst day of the year. Flash forward a couple of decades and now you can hear yourself grumbling about the same stuff. If you know exactly where your receipts are, as well as what your W-4s and W-9s actually mean; then congratulations, you’re worried about something that would confuse anyone under the age of 22.

6 Staying in on a Saturday night
Something that 97% of college kids would equate to blasphemy, staying at home on a weekend evening is a double-edged sword. On one hand, not going out has a positive effect on your liver, wallet, and general health. Maybe you’ll even get some extra work accomplished with all this non-drinking time on your hands. But on the other hand: when all’s said and done, are you going to fondly look back on all those Saturday nights you spent watching LOST on DVD?

5 You start watching the nightly news
Maybe back in the day, you took a cursory glance at the daily news just to make sure you still knew who was president and stuff. But if you’re constantly tuning into the 7pm news to hear the day’s events from your local anchors, then you’ve officially become your parents. It’s not that you don’t want to stay up until 11 to watch Jon Stewart make light of the world’s events, but sometimes 11 is just too late for your tired bones. Which brings us to our next condemning sign…

4 Going to sleep before midnight every night
Yes, it’s fun to be a night owl. Chatting on Gmail or AIM with your buddies until the wee hours of the morning may feel good, but damn some people have work in the morning. On the day where you turn off your XBox, despite the fact that you’re this close to finding a new weapon in Call of Duty, at 10 is the day that you can officially say goodbye to your vibrant youth. Sure, sleep feels good but man who knows how far you would have gotten at that level if you just kept at it?

3 You keep plants in your house
There must have been a time where you lived in such squalid conditions that even a cactus would have been starved to death. But now since you’re all responsible and stuff, there are various potted plants dressing up your pad. Taking care of plants takes a certain level of responsibility that most guys just do not have in their youth. There’s the watering, the sunlight…and that’s pretty much it. But the point here is that you have to care enough about a plant to keep it alive.

2 There is more food than alcohol in your fridge
In college, for most of us, food was mostly an afterthought. A box of half-eaten, cold pizza, some sandwiches, chips, whatever. What filled up the fridges back in the day was 18 racks of the cheapest swill money could buy. Whether it was Natty Light, Miller High Life, or some weird local brew, beer and alcohol always took up more real estate than food. Nowadays if you open your fridge and find that you’ve got more types of cheese and breads than food–well, congrats buddy you’ve moved to the next stage in life.

1 You have gray hair
This is it. Your body is breaking down, one hair follicle at a time. The once lush colors you had are slowly going away to a lifeless gray. Sure, Clooney makes it look really good, but for most people that aren’t international movie sensations, this sucks. You can color your hair sure, but that’s only delaying the inevitable. Happy trails sir.

Life : 7 ways to get a girl to dump you

Whether your method is to get her to throw your ass to the curb or not, here are a few ways to get that new woman in your life to question her compatibility with you.

7 Show off your best dinosaur impression
Preferably on the first date, surprise her with your best Velociraptor: arms pulled in tight, fangs flashed, while bellowing out a high-pitched screech. Laugh hysterically afterward, or stay silent and stare deep into her eyes.

Keep her around: We know impressing a new girl with your mad skills can be nerve-wrecking. Take a few deep breaths and be yourself. Refrain from using a volume higher than your “indoor voice,” unless you’re at a game or concert.

6 Spark a sudden interest in Cosplay or Sci-Fi fantasies
Supposedly, Cosplay conventions are chock-full of orgies galore. So if this fetish floats your boat and you find a “my-lady” who’s into it as well — cheers, man. Express an affinity for Lord of the Ring reenactments mid-oral sex (“Won’t you just call it ‘your Precious?’”) to an unsuspecting woman, and expect minutes of still silence followed with a sudden excuse to escape.

Keep her around: Give her time to get comfortable in bed, and if you’re not going to give her the heads up on the deviant shit you’re into outside of the bedroom, at least leave a million hints lying around alluding to said unique sexual preference. (Anime porn, anyone?)

5 Mooch off of her
Don’t merely refuse to pay for the date you asked her on. Show up at her place thirty minutes before you’re due to pick her up and request to use her shower. You only want to look slick and clean for your first date, right? Post-date, beg her to let you stay at her place. Use her toothbrush!

Keep her around: You don’t have to be into economic macho-ism. Expect to pay for dates you ask her on, and vice versa. Do the “wallet grab,” and hope she does the same. If she doesn’t, that’s lame. Sorry!

4 Claim she’s the only hope to curing your E.D.
Get emotional — spill your guts about your self-diagnosed, early-onset erectile dysfunction. Ask her, with puppy-dog eyes, if she’ll be so kind to understand your deep-rooted psycho-sexual qualms. When things suddenly get frisky and you start to get hard cheer, “You cured me!” Claim that she’s your only hope to having a healthy sexual life — instill in her the immense fear of screwing the same person for the next four decades.

Keep her around: Let awesome sex come organically. Any sort of external pressures should be nonexistent in bed.

3 Obsess over her best friend
Ask how her BFF is, constantly. What did the two of them do when they hung out last? What did they talk about? Did she mention you at all? Request to snap a shot of her amazing ass with your cell phone. It’s not a big deal, she agrees her friend has an enviable butt, right?

Keep her around: Playing hard to get is overrated. Focus the majority of your attention on the woman you’re trying to swoon — not her friends or her family or her roommates. It’s confusing and kind of annoying.

2 Blatantly disrespect her religion/beliefs/vegetarianism
Is she a health-freak vegetarian? Demand to dip your cheeseburger into her lentil and broccoli soup. Strike up hostile conversations about the death of Christ. Attempt to convince her that Mein Kampf is actually an amazing work of literature — why won’t she give it a chance?

Keep her around: If you can’t discuss hardcore beliefs without feeling your blood boil or an itch to knock someone down a notch, accept that it’s not meant to be.

1 Stalk her
The day after you finally score her number, text her immediately. Then text her again. When she doesn’t respond, assume something must be wrong with her phone, and text her again. Better yet, call her! Google her, and try to memorize the specifics of her life. Drop these facts within threatening messages in an attempt to persuade her to see you.

Keep her around: Not sure about the whole “wait three days to call” thing, so we won’t advocate any quantitative equation to contacting a woman you’re into. Give the girl some room to breath. Despite what you saw in Valley Girl, suffocating a prospect with your physical or virtual presence is simply not romantic.

The 10 most and least wanted things in dating for men and women [INFOGRAPHICS]

Not content to let OKCupid and it’s delightful OKTrends blog steal all the spotlight, eHarmony released these two infographics today taking a look at what men and women really want from their relationships.

According to an eHarmony spokesperson, the study was put together using the personality profiles the site builds upon users signing up. Though they couldn’t provide an exact number, the number of people whose data was being cataloged is said to be “huge”. It’s said to be one of the first times eHarmony has delved into its massive user database to cull information of this kind.

Take a look at the findings below, followed by our analysis.

Clearly, eHarmony needs to make “Boobs” and “Likely to Drink Enough Vodka and Sodas That She’ll Be Likely to Put Out But Not Be So Drunk That It Could Be a Legal Situation” as qualifiers. Until then, I consider this data set to be incomplete.

Health : 6 Reasons to Take a Walk

As anyone who makes a habit of regularly walking knows, it makes you feel good. Swinging your arms and stepping briskly on a nature path, sandy beach, or treadmill makes you feel energized and works the body. What’s more, recent medical research gives you lots of reasons to step out. From staving off stroke to keeping your GI tract in working order, here’s the latest on why a regular brisk walk should be part of your day.

1. Live longer

The faster you walk, the longer you likely will live. That’s the conclusion of a report revealing a strong correlation between walking pace and expected survival rates for people older than 65. The average gait speed of the 34,485 participants from nine studies included in the analysis was three feet per second, but University of Pittsburgh researchers found the faster participants lived longer.

"Walking requires energy, movement control, and support, and places demands on multiple organ systems, including the heart, lungs, circulatory, nervous, and musculoskeletal systems," the researchers recently wrote in the Journal of the American Medical Association. "Slowing gait may reflect both damaged systems and a high energy cost of walking."

2. Fight dementia

Walk six miles a day and prevent brain shrinkage and dementia. A study of nearly 300 people in Pittsburgh who kept track of how much they walked each week showed that those who walked at least six miles had less age-related brain shrinkage than people who walked less.

Researchers reporting last fall in the journal Neurology said more studies need to be done on the effects of exercise on dementia, but because there are no effective treatments for Alzheimer's disease, walking may be one thing people can do now that may help in the future.

3. Battle breast cancer

Women who regularly take brisk walks have a lower breast cancer risk after menopause, a recent study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine suggests. Researchers reviewed data collected from nearly 100,000 postmenopausal women and found that those who walked briskly for at least an hour a day (or an equal amount of activity) were 15 percent less likely to get breast cancer than women who walked less than one hour per week. And those who got little exercise but increased their activity level after menopause were 10 percent less likely to develop the disease than those who remained sedentary.

Physical activity "is one of the few breast cancer risk factors that women can do something about," study author Dr. A. Heather Eliassen told Reuters Health. "And it's never too late."

4. Soothe your tummy

Move regularly and calm an irritated bowel. In a study of 102 adults with irritable bowel syndrome, 43 percent of those who got 20 to 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous exercise — like brisk walking or biking — three to five days a week showed significant improvement in their symptoms of cramps, diarrhea, bloating, and constipation. Only a quarter of the participants who maintained their regular lifestyle reported improvements.

Researchers, whose work recently appeared in the American Journal of Gastroenterology, noted previous studies have shown that exercise can relieve gas and constipation by getting the digestive system moving.

5. Slash your stroke risk

Reduce your stroke risk — one step at a time. A study of 39,000 healthy women 45 and older found that those who walked two or more hours a week had a lower risk of stroke than those who walked less than two hours a week. The most active women were 17 percent less likely to have a stroke, compared with the least active. And those who walked more than two hours per week were 30 percent less apt to suffer a stroke than those who didn’t walk at all.

"More active people generally demonstrate a 25 to 30 percent lower risk of stroke," Jacob Sattelmair, the study's lead researcher from the Harvard School of Public Health, told Reuters Health.

6. Protect your prostate

Even moderate exercise — like walking — may lower your risk for prostate cancer. In a study published in 2009 in the Journal of Urology, researchers from Duke University Medical Center found that among 190 men who underwent prostate cancer biopsies, those who regularly exercised were less likely to be diagnosed with the disease than sedentary men. Moderate exercisers—those who exercised the equivalent of three or more hours a week—were two-thirds less likely to have prostate cancer compared with those who were inactive.

Exercise decreases the amount of testosterone and other hormones that help prostate tumors grow, and bolsters the immune system, researchers noted, which may help explain the findings.