- Some women fake orgasms because they're afraid of losing control.
- Fears of pregnancy and STDs lead some women to fake it.
- The things that made your ex climax might not work for your new girlfriend.
"Women are sometimes as perplexed as men when it comes to the female body."You think she’s happy. She sounds pleased. She’s making all the right noises. She’s moaning and breathing heavily. She came… you think. Or did she? She could very well be faking it. To men who are able to come quickly and easily with a few thrusts, faking it seems alien. Why pretend? Why not just come? Well, it’s not always that easy. The reasons women fake it are often as varied as women themselves.
She wants to stroke his ego
A lot of women simply don’t want to hear a man ask them why they didn’t come. The reality is, for many, it’s not that easy to orgasm, and they don’t need to every time. This isn’t to say a woman isn’t enjoying sex. An orgasm isn’t a requisite for enjoyment. Sometimes she needs a mind-blowing orgasm, and other times, she just wants to be intimate. So rather than have a man keep pounding at her until she’s chafing, it’s just easier to pretend.She is too inhibited and fears losing control
If she’s the type that has the perfect hair, the perfect job and the perfect wardrobe, she may well be afraid of losing control by allowing herself to orgasm. Dr. Ava Cadell, sex therapist and author of the upcoming book Sexy Little Book of Oral Pleasure, says, “A lot of women don’t want to be seen as out of control because they think they’ll look ugly or weak or vulnerable.” A woman who is afraid of looking messy, of squirting, having you see her “O” face, looking fat, or otherwise doing something “embarrassing” may be unable to let go enough to let herself climax.Fear of pregnancy/STDs
If she's terrified of pregnancy or is simply worried about contracting a disease, she could be unable to focus on the task at hand during sex. A woman in this situation is going to need time and a very safe environment if she’s going to feel relaxed enough to allow herself to let go and enjoy sex without fear. And, of course, make sure you always wrap it up! If she knows you take your sexual health seriously, she’ll feel more comfortable.She doesn’t know how to get off
Unlike men who have easy access to their penis, women are sometimes equally as dperplexed as men when it comes to the female body. Men grow up masturbating at a young age. But many women don’t learn about masturbation until well into their 20s, and even then it’s a complicated situation. Between the G-spot, the clitoris, vibrators, fingers, and everything else that’s going on, women often don’t even know how to make themselves reach orgasm, much less tell someone else how to do it.She feels guilty about sex
On the other hand, even if a woman knows what gets her off, she may not know how to share it or may be uncomfortable asking for it. Often, women (and men) are embarrassed about their own fantasies for fear of being perceived as weird, easy, nymphomaniacal or perverted. Depending on how she was raised, her guilt could be really extreme, so she might be uptight about sex overall, or just uncomfortable about receiving and experiencing pleasure.She’s experiencing a lack of stimulation
Stimulation can be mental, physical, emotional, or sexual, according to Dr. Cadell. If you’re playing her clitoris like Mozart plays the piano, she still may not get off if she’s just not into you. If she’s not feeling it, the only way for her to finish the job is to either fantasize about someone else or fake it. On the other hand, some guys just don’t know what they’re doing. Or they think what they’re doing will work because it made the last woman see God. If only it were that simple. Every woman is different, so what got your ex off is not necessarily going to get your current partner off.She wants to get it over with
Between work, kids and/or maintaining a household, many women are just tired and lacking in time. Even though society is becoming increasingly more equal, women still shoulder most of the burden in running a home and caring for others, leaving very little time to care for themselves. Or she may just be pissed off at you or tired or hungry. Dr. Caldell says, “I suggest some kind of escape where you can enter a world of fantasy rather than reality. Believe it or not, watching soft or hardcore porn is therapeutic and sexually arousing to women after a long, arduous day, too.”what you can do to help
So what can you do to ensure her full enjoyment? First off, be attentive to what gives her pleasure. If you’re not sure, ask! Women are not robots, so don’t assume that just because you watched Jenna Jameson get off in a porno, your partner will get off with those same moves. If she’s feeling stressed out or super busy, help lighten the load by offering to cook dinner or clean up. For women, having an orgasm has as much to do with physicality as it does with psychology. Let her know that she is gorgeous and you love the way she looks no matter what, and she’s more likely to feel uninhibited.No matter what, do not fall into the trap of thinking you know it all. As Lou Paget, sexpert and author of Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming, says, “Please don't tell a woman all your other girlfriends orgasmed that way. She knows they didn't.”
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